


Angel On My Shoulder

by DreamWings231



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angels, Dead Freelancers Become Angels, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-08
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-01-23 23:57:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1584143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamWings231/pseuds/DreamWings231
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>North couldn't believe his eyes. York was really confused. Flowers wasn't really sure what was going on.<br/>Connie didn't believe in angels.<br/>Until the day she became one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Connie never believed in angels.

Until the day she became one.

The last thing she remembered was the pain from the tomahawk that Tex threw at her and giving the data file to her love. And now she finds herself watching her boyfriend bury her corpse in the ground of probably the last Insurrection base he has.

Once the dirt was flattened, he says a few words, words of how they met and how he loves her. Connie reached out to touch his shoulder only for her hand to past though him. Tears ran down her face as the man she loves shed his own tears. She tried again and again to hold on to him, only to collapse to her knees when he left a rose on her grave and went back to the base.

“Hello Connie,” the brunette looked up and wiped her eyes in disbelief at the voice. Standing in front of her was a blond woman staring at the grave. The blond turned to her and helped Connie stand and smiled at the smaller woman. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Connie was about to call the women Tex but she knew otherwise, “Allison? You’re the real Allison aren’t you?”

The blond smirked, “Honestly, I really glad you’re the one to find out the truth, you have this kind of spunk I like.”

“Thanks,” Connie said, a little breathless, still a little faltered that this conversation was happening, “Have you been watching us, the Freelancers, the Director?”

Allison nodded, “I didn’t feel right leaving Leonard and looked where it took him.”

“He made your shadow - Tex.”

Surprising Connie, Allison laughed, “I always knew he was devoted to me, that lovesick fool.” Her smile turned grim, “I just didn’t know he would go this far to see me again.”

The shorter woman looked at her grave, “So what are we, ghosts?”

“No, we’re angels,” Connie stared in awe as wings shimmered at Allison’s back. Allison placed her hand at Connie’s back, making her own wings appear.

“But I can’t possibly be an angel,” Connie said, denying the wings yet brushing her hand across the soft feathers, “After everything I did in Project Freelancer, how can I be an angel?”

Allison took Connie’s chin in her palm, tilting the brunette’s head up and looked straight in her eyes, “It doesn’t matter how, it only matter on what you do. It’s your choice if you’re ready to go to heaven.”

“Is that why you’re still here?”

“I’m waiting for Leonard to have closure, I know him, and I know that’s how Project Freelancer will end.” Allison rested her hands on Connie’s shoulders, “Now, why do you think you’re still here?”

Connie looked back to her grave then to the direction where her boyfriend walked away, “I want to make sure he’s alright. I want to see all my friends are alright,” she look back to Allison, “But I can tell it’ll go up in flames.”

“Then wait till the flames are a fireplace of a loving home.”

* * *

Butch Flowers wasn’t really sure what was going on.

Alpha- no he wasn’t supposed to call him that- Church came up to him about him having a heart attacked and as a good captain, he trusted his team and let the soldier inject medicine in him, only to find out he was allergic to it.

So here he is, watching Tucker telling Church how he looked good in aqua-sea form-teal-whatever color armor. But Flowers didn’t mind, he agreed that the armor suited Tucker and that Church could be a good leader.

Flowers was happy that he had such a fine team.

Plus he was really excited at the wings he got and began flying though the sky.

* * *

York was really confused.

He remembered Wyoming shooting him and Delta telling Tex that he wouldn’t make it.

What he didn’t remember was having wings.

“Holy fuck, am I an angel?” York craned his head to look at his new wings, poking at it. “This is really weird but not the strangest thing I’ve been through.” He flapped his wings, “Okay, maybe it is the strangest.”

The brunette looked around at the empty building of the island and spotted his lighter. He knelt down to grab it only for his hand to ghost through it. Frowning, York sighed and got up and glanced at his corpse.

“Maybe someone will bury me.”

Then he heard a rumble of an engine shutting down and footsteps. York stared at as an agent approached him and kneeled to his body.

“Wash?” York instantly tried to grab Wash but was once again reminded that he wasn’t alive. But to his relief, Delta was. He listened into Wash and Delta’s conversation but shock was on his face when Wash started a bomb on his armor. “Wash, what did Project Freelancer do to you?” Despite the armor, York naïve, innocent friend was no longer there, York wasn’t even there when Wash woke up. All he knew was that the younger Freelancer basically lost it during the implantation.

And then, everything happened too fast, Wyoming was shooting at Wash and he was returning fire. York watched helplessly as the two realized the bomb was about to blow and witness Wash jumping off the building to the beach as Wyoming slipped away.

The explosion didn’t hurt him but it made York’s wings react, flapping up to the air. In the sky, York saw Wash start up his warthog and followed him, catching Wash saying something about a Recover Beacon.

* * *

North couldn’t believe his eyes.

In front of him was two bodies – his own and South’s. He was kneeling over South’s body about to shake her awake, only for her to bolt up screaming.

South gripped her helmet, screaming like she couldn’t stop. North tried to stop her panic attack but yelling her name was useless. He felt even more useless when he couldn’t even hug her to comfort her.

He was dead.

He barely registered Wash running up to South, snapping her out of her screams and finally catching her breath. The two living agents remained silent as they glanced at North’s body, hanging over the ledge.

That’s when a familiar voice broke the silence. “North!”

Wash and South were unaffected by York’s entrance, him flying down and struggling to land. “Man, how do birds fly? This is feels more complicated then what happened with Georgia.”

“York!” The blond immediately hugged the one eyed man, “Where the hell have you been! And why do you have wings?”

The brunette returned the hug, “Okay, long story short, I laid low in the shrubs, helped Tex out with a mission, got shot by Wyoming of all people, and now, I’m an angel and you’re an angel too.” North let go of his friend and turned his neck to see a pair of wings. “Although it’s no surprise you’re an angel, everybody loves you.”

The shock in North face shifted into sadness as he glanced at South, “Not everybody loves me that much.”

Looking between the twins, York connected the dots, disbelief and horror in his eyes.

During York’s silence, Wash and South were already explaining their situation and Wash left to call command.  North at Wash frowning, he never thought he’d see Wash like this, he almost seemed broken.

“Is,” York asked hesitantly, “Is she lying? Did she really kill you?”

“No, it was Maine, or at least what’s left of Maine,” North explained, “South just used me for bait.”

Wash came back and South began her monologue about her and North life, “And here I am now, just wondering how I’m gonna live without him.”

“Yeah,” Wash agreed, aiming his gun at the back of South’s head. On instinct, York tried to get the gun away from Wash as North tried to shield his sister.

He didn’t stop the bullet.

“Wash!” York yelled.

“I wouldn’t go worrying about that if I were you.”

The angels froze as South’s body fell next to North’s. Wash lowered his gun and simply stared at the motionless twins.

The blond angel ignored his tears as he yelled, “WASH! How could you- THIS ISN’T YOU! Why would you even do _this_!” North was shaking, pent up rage and grief taking over him until York grabbed his arm.

“Dude, look.”

North didn’t bother to stop glaring at Wash but a groan caught his attention.

“What the hell Wash?” North turned around a choked at bit when South pulled herself up.

“You’re dead now,” Wash said coldly, “Remember that.”

“I don’t understand any of this, and my ears are still ringing from that shot you fired.”

“It had to sound good for the radio. One second, I need to talk to somebody.”

The twins stared in surprise as Delta appeared.

“Yeah, Wash found my body,” York explained to the other angel then mumbled, “And then he blew it up.”

“Wash did what?”

-

The two angels followed their friends to an abandon building where South, Wash, and Delta were hiding out. They stood on top of the ledge, peering down on their friends.

“Hey York.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever wonder why we’re here?”

The brunette sighed, “I really don’t know, man. I was just a locksmith, I joined the war, I met you guys and Carolina, and next thing I knew, the world’s moving too fast and we’re just trying to keep up.” York tilted his head up, maybe trying to find heaven up there. “I don’t know man; it used to keep me up at night. But at the same time, I don’t regret having you all in my life. And after what happened with Carolina, I learned to let things go.”

North blinked at his friend, “York, I’m happy we met too but uh what I meant was why we’re angels and not just dead.”

“Uh, yeah,” York trailed off scratching the back of his head, feeling a little awkward.

“You even said you let go of Carolina, so why aren’t you with her right now?”

“I’m not really sure why, I’m just here.” York looked over the two younger Freelancers, “I just have this feeling, telling me that so much more is going on, and I honestly don’t know what to do with it.”

“What about Carolina? Aren’t you going to search for her?”

“Of course, I’m going to find her,” York confidentially said, “I’m not going to just let her go without a fight.”

“If you’re going to use some angel pickup line, she’s gonna kick your ass.”

Before the brunette could comment, Wash told South his theory of something hunting down Freelancers. “Hunting down Freelancers? You don’t mean-“

“Maine,” North interrupted, “Sigma did something to him; he doesn’t seem human. He even called himself the Meta.”

“Yeah, I mean, I always thought that Sigma was weird but he just made Maine insane!”

“York! He’s here!” North pointed at the rogue Freelancer with his brute-shot, already firing bullets at the Wash and South. The two angels flew down to where the recovery agents were preparing their guns.

But when they landed they didn’t expect South to shot Wash in the back.

“Wash!” the angels shouted as the grey Spartan fell. York knelt next to Wash, not sure what to do.

He looked up at South when she was making a deal with the Meta, shooting down Wash to save her own skin. York didn’t need to see the look of betrayal on North’s face.

As South ran off, North muttered, “This is what she did to me.”

“North, I don’t think Wash’s gonna make it.” York’s hand ghost through Wash’s hand, trying to comfort his dying friend.

The Meta walked up to Wash, North and York dreading to watch Maine kill Wash. But the strangest thing happened; the Meta suddenly started twitching and dropped his brut-shot. He gripped his helmet, growling in pain. York and North realized what was happening, they had were familiar with the pain of an obsessed AI frantically shouting in their heads but not the pain of three AI.

The angels watched their friend’s pain as Sigma appeared, the AI didn’t say anything, most likely having mental conversations only for Maine to swat the AI. Maine trudged next to Wash, one hand still gripping his head and the other implanting York’s healing unit into Wash’s armor and activating it.

Maine let out his final growl and quickly ran, grabbing his brute-shot before he became the Meta. Wash’s recovery beacon beeped, breaking the silence between the angels.

Standing up, York turned to North, “You should go after her.”

North’s eyes drifted to Wash, “She was willing to kill him; she was willing to kill me.”

“She said it herself; she wonders how she’ll live without you.”

“I won’t like what I’ll see,” North signed, already flapping his wings, “I guess we’re their guardian angels.”

“Who else is going to watch them be idiots,” York joked, “We’ll see each other later.”

Smiling, North gave York a one arm hug and flew to the direction South left.

 

York looked down at Wash and smiled, “I guess I’m paired with the team’s worst fighter.”


	2. Chapter 2

Wyoming wasn’t pouting, he was manly frowning.

He couldn’t believe how that bloke Tucker discovered his time distortion equipment and of all people; sim troopers are the ones to kill a Wyoming army.

And he knew for sure that Tex killed some for York’s sake.

After the last Wyoming died, the Freelancer found himself a couple of feet away from his body as Tex took his helmet and ran towards the Pelican.

“Just what are you doing, Allison?”

The Brit jumped a bit when someone yelled, “Reggie!”

Looking up, Wyoming saw the last thing he’d ever expected, “Butch?” He stared flabbergasted as the brunette flew down and encased him with a hug.

“Reggie, I thought I would never see you again!” Flowers grinned.

“Champ, I missed you too but why in the world do you have wings?”

“We’re dead!” Flowers chirped and let go of the Freelancer and pointed at Wyoming’s corpses, “Just look at all your dead bodies, boy I am so proud at my team doing swell without me.”

“Wait, if we’re dead,” Wyoming stroked his mustache, “Does that mean when South dies she’s able to drag me to hell for setting a paint bomb in her room?”

Flowers shrugged, “Beats me. Also that was really mean of you.”

“She was mean to you!” Wyoming whined, “I just wanted to defend your honor.”

“Aww, you’re so cute when you’re pouting,” Flowers said and poked Wyoming’s cheek.

“I am not pouting,” he grumped but pulled Flowers into a hug, “I really did miss you when you disappeared, what happened to you?”

“It’s a long story that I’m sure you’ll love!” Flowers jumped up, flapping his wings, “Oh and I need to teach you how to fly! It’s the best thing ever!”

“You’re not going to say the stupid line Wash says, are you?” Flowers grabbed Wyoming’s hands, attempting to pull the taller man up as Wyoming flapped his wings.

The brunette only smiled as they flew to the sky.

* * *

South was honestly surprised.

She never expected Wash to pull the trigger.

Once the shock passed, South was pissed.

“That motherfucker, he actually shot me!”

“You can’t blame him.” South froze, her anger long gone from the familiar and cold voice. “In fact, you shouldn’t even think that any of this was Wash’s fault.”

“North?” whispered South, turning around to see her brother, “You’re here?”

Her twin frowned at her, “I never left.”

They stayed silent as Wash blew up South’s body.

“So after I left you for dead you decided to haunt me,” South bitterly concluded.

“I prefer guardian angel.”

South noticed the wings and retorted, “Of course you’re an angel. What else to expect from mister good guy?”

North took a step closer to his sister, “Why did you do it?”

“What, getting you killed? Shooting Wash in the back?” South rhetorically asked and growled, “Maybe it’s because I had just enough of all of you!”

“South, all you had _was_ us,” North stated, “The Freelancers was our family.”

“We are not a family!” South stomped up to her twin and glared, “You are just the ‘golden boy’ I always had to put with! And when we became Freelancers, I thought that maybe I’ll be respected like an individual but no! I was treated like some ball of anger while you and the others had AI’s, at the top of the list, and weren’t treated like some monster!”

South was about to rant more until North pulled her into a hug. She immediately thrashed about and screamed bloody murder until North calmly asked, “What’s the real reason you did it?”

His hand brushed off her cheek and only then did she realize that there were tears streaming down. She shut her eyes and swatted her brother’s hand and backed away, still refusing to be weak in an emotional state, “Shut the fuck up, you think you know everything about me and how to make things better. Well, you don’t!”

“What is it you’re not telling me?” North grabbed South’s arm, “You died with this secret of yours, might as well say it.”

South yanked back her arm, “Really, that’s what you say?” She rolled her eyes but admitted, “Fine, I died a closeted gay!”

Taken back, North stared surprised at his sister, “What?”

“I had to put up with nearly all my friends fawning over you, my hot twin brother, a heartthrob, fucking boyfriend material! Every dick around me wanted someone else or was an asshole. And then, I had to deal with the fact that CT’s a traitor!”

North stopped himself from say another useless word and thought back to the times where a girl passed South to talk to him. As for CT, all he knew about the short brunette was that Wash cared about her and then she joined with the Insurrectionist leader.

No one would take it in account that South liked her.

“South, I had no idea,” he said weakly.

She scowled at him, “Save it, I don’t need you.” Turning away, the blonde walked pass her brother, not sparing a glance at him or the wings that appeared on her back.

After she was air born, North sighed, “We both know that’s a lie.” Acknowledging the angelic presence behind him, he called out, “Hey York, you can come out now.”

The brunet angel flew down to the blond, “For the record, I wasn’t eavesdropping.” York placed a comforting hand on North’s shoulder, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yeah,” North admitted after a pregnant silence, “Is this how you let go of Carolina?”

 

“Nah, I only had Delta and a recording button. Come on, let’s talk about it on the way to Wash and the idiots he’s with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Flowers is a bit like Donut. Totally shipping Flowing right now. Making the Dakota scene took a hell of amount of time and procrastination. And I'm not the biggest fan of Canon South but rather the headcanon of South being gay for CT.   
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

As the Insurrectionist Leader, he would love to say he died for his cause; that he died searching for alien artifacts.

Never did he expect an artifact to become alive and kill him.

He expected booty traps, alien fights and regular human fights aka the Freelancers or the UNSC. Being killed by an asshole in the shape of a sphere damaged his pride a bit.

But he felt a bit respected when one of the idiot Reds demanded that his team should be buried for being soldiers. To think, he was planning to kill them and they’re giving him a funeral.

A crappy and pathetic one but nonetheless a funeral if you’re optimistic.

And right now, Michael didn't feel so optimistic.

All his effort, his friends’ sacrifices, Connie, in the end, it was all for nothing.

“Was all of this even worth it?” He questioned aloud, observing the sand breeze over the corpses.

“That could be debatable,” Michael froze at the teasing voice, “We met each other, that’s a good thing in my book.”

The Mohawk man turned around and saw his short, brunette love, “Connie?”

She only grinned and before Connie even took a step forward, Michael scooped her up in his arms bridal style and spun them around. Looping her arms around his neck, Connie brought their foreheads together, “I missed you so much, Michael.”

His response was covering her face with kisses, making sure that there was a kiss for each second they were separated, his eyes tear up, “Connie, I love you so much, I didn't want to lose you or anyone, I’m sorry for not just leaving when we had the chance.”

Landing some of her own kisses, she whispered, “Don’t apologize, there are moments where you can have selfish opportunities but you choose not to, you choose to put others’ safety before you.”

“Connie, you don’t have to say things like that, I’m not a great man. I let all your sacrifices in vain and to waste.”

“No you didn't okay? You did what you thought was best,” Connie playfully slapped his shoulder, “Now stop being this depressing, sad sap. Let’s get out of this desert hole.”

Michael smiled and felt his wings appear, “This is going to take a while to get used to.” Connie jumped out of his arms and flapped her wings as Michael followed her into the sky.

Thousands of miles away from the ground, the two angels danced around each other, whispering words of love and happiness.

They were in peace.

After what felt like hours of soaring through the sky, their wings glowed and encased the two in a blinding light as the clouds surrounded them.

“What’s going on?” Connie wondered, grabbing onto Michael’s hand.

“I’m not sure; maybe we’re going to heaven?”

Allison’s words flashed through Connie’s head, “It’s our choice if we go to heaven.”

Cupping her face in his palm, Michael tilted Connie’s head up, “I don’t care wherever we go as long as I’m by your side.”

Connie gave him a smile and pulled him for a kiss. The light intensified until it couldn't be any brighter and then it dimmed down revealing an empty space in the sky.

* * *

Maine once heard a man could die from a heart attack when he’s free falling to his death.

But seeing his corpse sink to the bottom the ocean, he didn't care how he died; the only thing that mattered is that he’s dead.

Standing on the ledge of the icy tundra, Maine watched Wash and the blue simulator soldiers drag Epsilon’s robotic body inside the building where the Reds were staying at until the UNSC got here and start investigating.

A part of him wanted to go up to Wash, to thank him for ending his captivity of playing Sigma’s puppet but at the same time he was always a man with few words, an observer.

Plus, he put two and two together and figured out he was dead. It became more obvious due to the fact that he saw two dead Freelancers he knew had wings and were flying in his direction.

“Maine!” North shouted; the two angels landed in front of him as the blond smiled gratefully at the bald man, “You’re okay!”

“Actually, he’s dead, we’re also dead,” clarified York, “We’re all angels, just look at our wings!”

Looking over his shoulder, Maine notices the golden wings behind him shimmer to life. He only grunted in an impressed tone.

“You do know you probably have your voice back, right?”

“Then why is your eye still scarred, York?”

“It’s a part of me; I've grown used to only using one eye.”

Changing the subject, Maine wondered, “What now?”

“Well, North and I are still looking out for Wash,” York explained, “When I was younger, I was told angels bring good luck or some bullshit but it seems to be working for Wash. Also I’m looking for Carolina.”

“Yeah, I’m happy for Wash finding these soldiers, this might be good for him,” North smiled.

“Good for him? They’re gonna drive him crazy!” York exaggerated, “I’m going to laugh my ass off!”

Maine watched the duo talk more about Wash and the Blood Gulch soldiers, sighing; he decided to interrupt them, “North, York?” Said angels gave their attention to Maine, noticing the age and stress on his face and how drained and relieved his smile is. “I had a good life and spent enough time living with all of you guys but,” his golden wings sank as he took a breath, “I’m tired, after being the Meta, I don’t feel human at all, I don’t want to see the damage that I've done to innocent people like you two.”

“What are you talking about?” York questioned.

“Listen Maine, it wasn't you, it was Sigma; he’s gone. You’re going to be alright now; this is your new start,” North reasoned.

His faith smile expressed graduate, “Thank you for everything.” Suddenly the wind picked up around the angels.

A whirlwind of snow and gold feathers swirled around Maine. He gave a knowing smirk to the two angels, “This isn't a goodbye.” Then Maine’s body started to glow white as his wings encased him with a gold light that grew brighter. York and North tried not to look away as the light blinded them a bit and when light died down, the snow exploded into thousands of snowflakes and a single gold feather was left where Maine once stood.

North picked up Maine’s feather, “Did he just go to heaven?”

“You know what?” York began, “I don’t really care. I have seen Wash nearly dying who knows how many times, aliens calling humans Shisno, whatever the hell that is, a bunch of idiots fighting Maine, and Wash and Maine in one of the most mind blowing fights I've ever seen.”

Nodding in agreement, North commented, “That is a lot to take in.”

 

“I mean Wash, the cat obsessed guy!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya love this!


	4. Chapter 4

York’s face mirrored Wash’s.

Both were wide eyed, shocked, at pure disbelief from the sight of the Rouge Spartan in front of them, the light reflecting off the greenish blue, sea foam green, turquoise- whatever it is- armor.

There, aiming a gun at Wash’s cobalt and yellow helmet was the one and only Carolina, literally being a living ghost.

“Hello Alpha,” her voice breaking the silence other than the Reds and Blues’ groans from the explosions that the no longer MIA Freelancer set up earlier. “You have something I want.”

“Carolina?” Wash whispered in disbelief yet the Rouge Spartan heard him and pressed the pistol against his visor, adding more pressure on his torso with her foot as a part of the Red’s crashed Hornet was trapping Wash’s right arm.

“I see you have your memories from Project Freelancer,” she coldly observed, “You better put it to use.”

“No! No, Carolina it’s me!” With his left hand, Wash’s unclipped his helmet, revealing his scarred, freckled face and messy blond hair.

Backing away from the AI imposter, Carolina nearly dropped her gun in shock, “Wash? It’s really you?”

In the background, Simmons grumbled, “Okay, so when he says ‘It’s me’ that crazy lady instantly knows he’s Wash but when I say it’s me, Donut doesn’t know it’s me!”

“Simmons, shut the fuck up,” Grif groaned, “The pronoun club disbanded already.”

The two angels stared at the blue Recon Spartan, taking off her helmet and smiled at Wash, “You’re alive,” her smile faltered and concluded, “That means that you guys killed the Meta.” 

“Yeah, Meta’s gone but so is Maine,” Wash explained as Carolina kicked aside the Hornet wreckage on Wash’s arm, “The UNSC cleaned up everything else and we left.”

He and Carolina continued their recap while the Reds and Blues recollected themselves i.e. Grif crying when he found his Oreo stash on fire and attempted to save them but Simmons stopped him. Not far away, one angel gazed sadly at them.

“York, buddy?” North placed a comforting hand on the brunet’s shoulder, never looking away from the redhead.

“She’s here, she’s alive,” York whisper, his wings drooping as his eyes began to water, “I finally found her but she can’t see me, she can’t hear me, she can’t, I can’t,” saltwater tears dropped from his damaged and good eyes, watching Carolina and Wash hug and continue to be unaware of the angels’ presences.

North remained silent and gently rubbed the brunet’s back as both of them started to cry. Their teammate, their leader, their lost friend was right in front of them; Carolina was alive. York lost hope in finding her when he lived and when he became an angel he hoped for a chance to see her again, not just to be with her romantically but to at least be next to her, to exist with her while they no longer remain in the world.

But Carolina is alive. York is not.

The angels continued to be speechless, watching their two friends plan their next move. The only time they stopped frowning was when Carolina aggressively persuaded the red Sargent to follow her command, they couldn’t help but smile when she glared at Sarge, after all it has been a while since York, North, and Wash saw Carolina angry at someone who stood no chance against her.

But then came the time for the group of red and blue to leave and track down Epsilon.

“Are you going to be alright?” North asked. York just stared at Carolina as she hopped on her mongoose vehicle. “Watching over her, I mean; that’s not the most emotionally stable thing to do right now.”

“You’re right,” York sighed, “This is Carolina we’re talking about, she’s going to encounter danger and I won’t have her back to help her.” 

“You said you wondered why you’re here, well, she’s the reason why you’re here; why you haven’t moved on yet.”

“No, there’s no yet North,” York brushed his fingers through his hair, sighing out frustration, “You’re right, I’m not emotionally stable, who the hell is? I just want to make sure she’s okay, that’s she’s stable or at least still smiling, even when I’m not the one who’s making her smile.”

By the time they stopped talking, the Reds and Blues were on the road not too far away from them. York was about to take off until the blond pulled the other angel into a bear hug, smiling with damp, red shot eyes, “Look, you need a hug, I need a hug, let’s just hug right now.”

It felt almost foreign when York laughed, returning the hug along with new tears, “You’re such a sap.”

“Really, coming from the guy who stays up till morning to make sure Carolina actually stops training and gets rest?”

* * *

 

 Alive or dead, elite force or complete idiots, wondering why they are here or questioning what they fight for.

No matter any situation or person, the desert was still fucking hot and boring as dicks.

York would like things better if they stayed at Bonner Street (“It’s out there, Boner Street is out if you believe hard enough, pun intended,” North joked, grinning when York collapsed with laughter) but no, Carolina was really motivated to get to the Director.

The more she became obsessed with finding the Director, the more she became less of the person York remembered her as. York always saw her as determined, empowering, and in rare moments, sincerely compassionate like when she helped Wash fit in with the other Freelancers. Now, she was becoming more aggressive and commanding with each dead end she reaches.

This type of fury and anger in her voice reminded York of the times where she argued with Tex.

Now, they’re at a desert for Carolina’s next clue, CT, or at least CT’s helmet.

“I don’t get it,” York complained, picking at his sweaty shirt that’s clinging to his back, “We’re dead but the weather still applies to us?”

“We’re angels, York, not god,” North palmed the sweat away from his forehead as they quickly flew to the shade of the giant, armored recovery vehicle that the Reds and Blues parked their warthogs at.

“I’m not hungry, thirsty, or need to pee but the weather feels like it’s killing me? This angel logic doesn’t make sense.”

 “Sounds like you’re in desperate need for a tutorial,” a joking voice piped in. The two angels looked up and saw a brunette sitting on the recovery tank, her feathers swaying with the soft desert breeze. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“CT? What, huh, um how, er, why are you here?” York babbled; flabbergast at the sight their former teammate. “I mean, we know you died when Tex and Carolina came after you so um, okay I’m just confused.”

Connie jumped down to them and was immediately surprised when North gave her a hug. “It’s nice to see you, CT. How’s everything?”

After awkwardly returning the hug, Connie stepped back and rubbed the back of her head, “I’m going as Connie again. Everything’s pretty okay; I’m just spending time with, well, that Insurrectionist Leader. We’re still figuring things out.” She was about to continue her rambling until she noticed Wash and Carolina in the distance, staring at the ground. “Is that Wash?”

“Yeah, we’ve appointed ourselves as his and Carolina’s guardian angels,” York shrugged, “They’re looking for the Director.”

Connie’s eyes followed the soldiers as they picked up her hard drive and took it inside the recovery vehicle, “Carolina wants revenge.” She looked suspiciously at the guardian angels, “Do you even know why?” Their silence and confused eyes was her answer. “You really don’t know. What were you guys so busy in the chaos of Project Freelancer to really know what was going on?”

“To be fair,” North pointed out, “We were the chaos.”

“I bet the Director didn’t plan that,” Connie sarcastically mused, mostly saying it to herself.

York whipped the sweat off his forehead, “Are you going to say ‘I told you so’ about how Project Freelancer was, you know, illegal?” 

She only smiled with a shrug, then she noticed how sweaty they were, “Why are you guys so sweaty?”

That’s when they noticed how none of her clothes had any marks of sweat. York’s only response was, “Because we’re not god.”

“This whole sweat thing is all in your mind,” she explained, “Dammit am I only here to make you understand that this whole angel body thing is just what our minds made up since we have no physical bodies?”

“How the hell did you figure that how?” York exclaimed.

Once again she shrugged, “Well, actually, it was a theory Michael and I came up with since we both saw our bodies being buried, but hey it’s one less thing to be confused on, right?”

There was a short pause then North rubbed his neck and sighed, “That’s enough metaphysical thinking for one day.”

“Are those guys putting an AI into Carolina’s mongoose?” York questioned, turning their attention to the Reds and Blues bickering as the two Freelancers returned. The angels watched Carolina become more frustrated with the Blues and then stormed off after the data file got corrupted. “I’m going with Wash to calm Carolina down; maybe some angel luck or blessing will help.”

Right after the brunet flew away there was an uneasy demeanor between North and Connie when she blurted, “South was here.”

She waited for him to respond, to even look confused or shock but all she got was a frown and stiff wings. North’s wings twitch and looked directly in Connie’s eyes, “What happened?”

“Right after Michael and I reunited, something happened, like an explosion with no pain where we didn’t feel alive or dead, we felt like everything was,” Connie hesitated, biting her bottom lip and furring her eyebrows together, “Like everything was okay, it’s hard to explain, I’m not sure if it was heaven or just passing over but all of a sudden, I felt drawn back here. I don’t know how long I was there or how long it took me to get but,” her voice soften and her eyes gazed upon the desert, like she was trying to find a mirage, “I didn’t feel anything else other than being drawn back here, that’s when I found South.”

Connie paused in her explanation when they both saw York following Carolina riding away on her mongoose.

“She was just flying around. I guess she had a lot on her mind.”

“I’m willing to bet on that,” North muttered, “Motion is usually her escape, like back when we were kids, when we were still siblings. Car drives would either lull her to sleep or get her sick.”

The small smile he had disappeared, “She was mad about me.”

“Without a doubt,” Was his confirmation, “She was angry at you and at herself but also confused at why she was angel, I noticed that some of her feathers were pulled out, North, it looked fresh and bloody.”

Instantly, North flapped his wings, “I need to find her.” He was about to take off until Connie spoken again.

“That’s just it, she’s gone.”

North froze.

After everything that happened to the twins, the tension and hatred from the Project, the feeling of complete betrayal of having his sister being responsible for his death, witnessing her being isolated and self-loathing when she was following Wash, and even their talk to have some form of clarity, North’s mind held constant worry over everyone he cares about, making his mind a jumble mess of protectiveness and paranoia.

The thought of anyone he loves as gone, no longer existing, or even hurt is the only thing that freezes his mind, even after all the horrible things that he has experienced.

The first time he saw Wash aim his gun at his sister, he couldn’t breathe, he was in utter panic.

When Wash actually pulled the trigger, North didn’t dare look and only hear the shot and her body falling to the ground. That sound of lifelessness from South’s death has been repressed from all the crazy events North has witness and only now has the memory of hearing the bullet and her fall has returned.

Still moments are when thoughts hit fast.

While North’s body showed no movement, not even a sign of his chest rising and falling for air, his mind held a constant repeat of everything he and South have been through.

Deep in his heart, he hoped for a chance to have closure with South as angels but now she was gone.

North barely acknowledged Connie shaking his arm, “North, snap out of it! Breath or something!” Connie slapped the back of his head, “North!”

The blond winced and rubbed his sore head, “Ugh, what?”

“You’re panicking North, you really pale right now,” Connie helped ease North down to sit on the sand and knelt besides him.

With some air back in his lungs, North asked, “She’s really gone?”

“Yeah, she told me about the fight you two had, how you never actually knew her, how everyone seemed to have their attention on you and not care about her.”

North let out a dry, humorless laugh, “Everyone only thought of us as twins. But here’s the thing about twins, we don’t always know each other; there’s no twin telepathy, there’s no finishing each other’s sentences. We grew up with each other and like every other person in the world; we kept secrets and our inner most thoughts away from the people you’re closest to, either die trying to find someone who’s understanding or dying with those secrets.”

“South died with her secrets, I presume? Yeah, she confessed her feelings.” Connie was mindlessly drawling circles in the sand, “We got along during the Project but I never thought she would care about me so much that she’d actually have any sort of affection towards me.”

“What about Wash? It was obvious he considered you as a close friend until the whole Project started driving all of us apart.”

“I do care for Wash,” she confessed, staring at the cobalt and yellow soldier in the distance, “But I was constantly worried about getting caught and I thought that out of everyone, Wash would be the first to find out since we were close.”

The two angels watched the soldiers once again bicker as the sun began to set and they took refuge in the ancient temple. It was a nice distraction for North but there were things that he needed to know.

“How did South pass?”

Connie hugged her knees to her chest, “She was surprised to see me and then, of course, she got mad. South yelled at me for betraying you guys, got even madder when she told me about you watching over her. I think she was more confused on why you stuck with her all this time.”

“She’s my sister; I just wanted to see her safe,” North explained as he moved to sit up against the armored vehicle, “I always feel obligated to help others.”

“Maybe that’s why you’re still here, you want to help Wash.”

“I also want to help York, he needs someone. He wants another chance to have a moment with Carolina where nothing gets fucked up.”

“What about you? Do you want another chance with South?” Connie returned back to the original point of their conversation, “South told me her feels but she wasn’t sure if it was love. She just knew that she cares a lot for me. I didn’t know what to say to her but it didn’t matter, she flew away from me. I chased after her but she just yelled at me to leave her alone. Next thing I know, there’s a bright light that exploded and she was gone.”

North processed the information, breathing slowly, “She wants to figure things out by herself.”

Connie only shrugged, “Maybe you’ll find her when she wants to be found?”

“That might take a while,” North rubbed his temples in frustration, “I wonder how York’s handling things.”

* * *

 

 Things are going great.

If great meant being hit by a gigantic avalanche of emotional pain and wanting to cry tears when there are none left.

When York saw the base in the distance, he couldn’t help but mutter, “Carolina, why are you doing this to yourself?”

Flying down upon the island fortress brought back memories for York and how ironic it is to return to the place he died and became an angel.

But this wasn’t about him, this was about Carolina. The first thing she did when she arrived at the fortress was stare at the darken floor where his body was blown up. She just stared and stared, making York wonder what it is she’s looking for and maybe if he spoken now, she would hear him.

He already tried that though, he would always sit next to her when it was her night watch, which was often because of her insomnia, and mindlessly remise of their days of existence and how he gradually learned how to read the tone of her voice or the little expressions of her face whenever he made a joke and she pretended it was not funny.

Ever since Carolina teamed up with the Reds and Blues, the only tone in her voice was anger and frustration. She continued to stare at the barren spot where apparently York’s lighter was left at, somehow avoiding the explosion and simple resting there.

York was zoning out, remembering Tex and Delta shouts in his final moments when Carolina spoken.

“I’m sorry York.” The angel stood away from her by the mongoose, giving her some space even though he felt desperate to give her comfort and reassurance. “Sorry I didn’t listen. I just, I don’t understand.”

Carolina’s train of thought was interrupted the moment she said Tex’s name. The AI ruined his cover and was faced with Carolina’s anger over all the shit she experienced, watching the people closest to her fall apart and exploding themselves with the Director to blame for everything.

Epsilon left Carolina alone to grieve once more until he flickered up again with a green light. Delta took over and began playing York’s journal entries.

“Man,” York mumbled, “That’s what my voice sounds like?”

Hearing the hope in his voice made York think back to those times where he believed that Carolina was still alive and there was a chance to see her again and make things better. He held so much hope and faith and continually ignored Delta’s doubts all in the favor of believing that Carolina was alive.

But his life was not a movie where the dead characters come back to life, if anything, he would be lucky enough to be the Han Solo type of character.

The sound of utter failure and sadness greatly contrasted the hope he once had. The moment he heard Tex’s name when he intercepted the transmissions, he felt his already damaged heart shatter at the confirmation of Carolina being dead. All that time in denial that the Project’s best agent defying death was nothing more than wistful thinking that he and Carolina would have a moment of happiness.

When he thought that Carolina was dead, he let go of her.

When he died and became an angel, he thought that maybe this was a second chance.

Now, York doesn’t have a clue on what to do other than to be with Carolina when she’s at her lowest.

York’s best guess that this may be a low point in her life, where Carolina chases ghost to avenge her friends yet becoming more closed off and untrusting.

By the time that the journal entries ended, York stood right in front of her, looking at her in the eyes even though the only thing she saw the York that lost hope in her.

Being an angel meant no mind reading powers but York was able to sense her emotions even with the armor coving her face and right now, Carolina was still recovering from what she had just seen, it must have been years since she actually heard York’s voice, none the less, see his face. He didn’t even have a grave, just a blast mark of where he died.

Throughout this journey to find the Director, Carolina was mostly angry all the time but right now, when she thanked Epsilon, she was genuinely grateful and calm.

Carolina sounded like her old self and stress-free, hell, she made a joke.

And York couldn’t be any happier for her and cried.

He followed them back to the desert and reunited with North and the Blood Gulch soldiers.

“Hey York, Connie left already,” North informed then looked over to Epsilon hovering over Carolina’s shoulder. “What happened between them?”

“They started bonding,” York shrugged, “He showed her my journal entries he apparently had through Delta and now they’re on good terms.”

“What about you?”

 

“As long as Carolina has a friend or something to make her feel less lonely, I’m good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I am sorry for the uber long update. I thought that I could finish this before the RvB13 premiere but no, the next chapter would probably be the final chapter and that'll take some time.
> 
> Also I hope that this story would help some people grieve over people they care about, yes I do mean Monty Oum but I also mean dealing with death in a personal way since there will be a time where you wonder why we are here and what happens after death.
> 
> Anyway, I'm just rambling and I thank you for your time for reading this.
> 
> Until then, exist with the people you care about.
> 
> ...Also,
> 
> RED VS BLUE SEASON 13!
> 
> Please sponsers, don't spoil it on the 31, please.


	5. Chapter 5

Leonard was always a lousy, horrible shot.

But his target was his own forehead so it is only impossible if he misses.

He didn’t miss.

Leonard didn’t care on what he would become or where he’ll go after he pulled the trigger. He only cared about her, about Allison. But he was still weighed down with an infinite amount of guilt for the people he has wronged- his acquaintances, his soldiers, his creations, but most of all his family.

The women he couldn’t let go and the women he rarely treated as his daughter.

He tried so hard to bring back the person he loves but instead brought suffering and pain.

All he wanted was to be with Allison but his grief blinded him from being with his daughter.

“You’re such a gooey sap, Leonard.”

Her voice was everywhere but nowhere. Her voice was in his subconscious but felt so real.

“I mean really, you’re last words were spoken to a computer lady? The one woman you have any real conversations is with an AI?”

Leonard felt lost in a void of emptiness, an abyss of darkness yet he heard Allison, his entire being felt nonexistence yet weighed down with his sins and Allison’s voice tugged at his heart.

Her voice echoed throughout the void, his entity wandering and longing for his light. Traveling through his dark emptiness, his soul franticly searched for Allison. Leonard spent the rest of his life trying to bring her back, now was his chance to reunite with her and he was determined to make things right with her.

“Leonard,” Allison called out softly, her humor and teasing gone, “The things you’ve done, the absolute calamity and mayhem you helped contributed with the whole AI mess; you really were a wreck when I died.”

The dark void Leonard was lost in began fading, becoming more like a broken illusion collapsing on its self as sharp rays of light filled the void. The sound of Allison choked up on her tears came closer as Leonard rushed towards her. When the harsh light dimmed down, Leonard found Allison on the roof of the facility he died in, sitting on the edge and watching over the simulation soldiers messing with their vehicles.

Allison stood up and faced Leonard, the sight of her teary eyes, her blonde hair in a loose braid, a faith smile, and white wings basking in the sunlight took Leonard’s breath away.

“I know we avoided the topic of me dying,” Allison continued, “You always did thought of me as invincible and powerful but that was because you wanted to be reassured that I was coming back home, coming back to you and to our daughter.”

“Allison,” Leonard stepped towards her, tears of his own leaking as he caressed Allison’s cheek and traced his thumb in circles over the smooth skin, “I fell apart when I learned that I lost you. The day I learned that you died, I didn’t know how I would ever spend the rest of my life without you.”

She breathed out a sigh, taking his hand away from her face and holding it. Allison studied her husband’s face, his graying hair, wrinkles, but most of all she focused on his green, watery eyes.

“Leonard, why weren’t you able to move on? You basically abandoned our daughter! You spent the rest of your life in grief and for what exactly, Leonard?” She dropped his hand and glared at her husband, “Why did you think that bringing me back to life or creating a copy of me would make things better? If anything, shit hit the fan!”

“I know I’ve made a great amount of mistakes and caused so many deaths,” Leonard admitted, brushing a blonde strand away from Allison’s face, “When your squadron was sent to the front lines, I feared the worst and I wished there was a way to keep you safe but I knew I couldn’t do a thing. There was nothing in my power to save you and I felt utterly useless.”

“There are things in life that you can’t win, Leonard, and some of them are time and death.”

“You’d be surprised of the tests of the time distortion armor enhancement,” he joked, hoping to get Allison to smile.

She simply rolled her eyes but smiled sadly, “Leonard, you can’t just try to bring me back to life and expect everything will be better, that you’ll be forgiven by our daughter for neglecting her.”

He sighed and pressed his forehead against hers, “I really am a terrible father.”

“Do you want a golden ‘You Tried’ star?”

Green eyes watered once more as Leonard smiled, “I just want you, Allison,” and then processed to repeat those words between every time they kissed.

“You’re such a sappy idiot,” she grinned but pulled back and frowned, “Was the reason you never moved on from me because I never said goodbye?”

“Allison, that word meaningless compared to seeing you again. Saying goodbye just was a reminder of how I lost you.”

The blonde angel hugged her husband, resting her chin on his shoulder, “I lost you and Carol too. When I died I thought that I’ll just end up in heaven but instead I just received a pair of wings and somehow I ended up watching over you and Carol. Your lives just blew by and I couldn’t do a thing to make you two happy. I really missed you both.” Leonard tightens his hug when Allison choked up on her tears, “I wished we had more time to be a family.”

“Carolina was the only good thing that came out of my mess,” Leonard’s hand brushed upon Allison’s wing, “She grew up to be a lot like you.”

“Yeah,” Allison agreed, pulling away to watch Carolina lead the sim troopers away from the abandon facility, “She doesn’t need us to watch over her, I believe she already has a guardian angel.”

Grey wings sprouted from Leonard’s back as they watched their daughter move on with her life.

* * *

 

Meanwhile with the Reds and Blues, York and North stood next to Carolina while the sim troopers and Wash wander around the cargo ship that’s taking them back to a place called Blood Gulch, whatever that is. Currently, Carolina was left to her own devices and started listening in to some radio transmissions discussing the illegal use of Freelancer equipment.

“North, I don’t think Carolina is going to return to civilian life any time soon,” York thought out loud, looking over Carolina’s shoulders to see the transmissions, already understanding the plan she’s forming.

“Yeah, training was always her comfort zone,” North acknowledge, “You’re going to follow her?”

The brunet walked towards the blond, rubbing the back of his neck, “I don’t feel like leaving her. Is that weird or obsessive? I just want to make sure if she’s alright, I feel like I shouldn’t let go, not just yet.”

Rolling his eyes fondly, North pulled York into an embrace, “Don’t worry too much York, you’ll figure stuff out when you feel that you’re ready for whatever is ahead.”

York returned the hug, “So does that mean you’re staying with Wash?”

“Yeah, it’s nice to see him happy and I want to make sure he’s settled in with these Reds and Blues.”

They broke off their hug when the space ship started rumbling and the red alarms and beeping went off. Crew members and technicians rushed to their stations as the ship began to collapse from the inside as the pilot announced that they were crash landing on to a nearby planet.

“What the fuck is going on!” York screamed.

“Well, we’re already dead, so we don’t need to panic,” North replied calmly.

* * *

 

York thought back to his and North’s goodbye. They were checking up on Wash and the others when the brunet angel noticed Carolina lingering back to the edge of the canyon. The two angels hugged their farewells and he flew off to Carolina and Epsilon.

Now, York stood next to Carolina as she finished up a transmission, “Good, I’ll be there before you know it.”

 

Shaking his head and chuckling, York smiled, “What mess are we going to end up in this time, Carolina?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, i procrastinated a lot for writing this whole fic.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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